Learning to Become an Assertive Woman

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Ever feel like life keeps throwing tests your way? Maybe you’re trying to work on your bad temper and a car cuts you off and flips you the bird as they speed on down the road. Or maybe you are dead serious this time about hitting the gym tomorrow morning, and when you wake up you are greeted with freezing rain that makes you want to crawl back into your warm bed.

That’s kind of how I’ve felt lately while working on flexing my assertive muscles. Lately it has felt like every corner I turn I am being given an opportunity to stand up for myself and speak my truth. I’m sure many of you suffering from the “Disease to Please” like me have felt very similar. The problem with this new attitude change is that it is an extremely unnatural feeling to assert myself.

Shops of Buckhead

Atlanta Graffiti

Recently I was faced with a situation where a Sales Professional (the company that he works for shall remain anonymous to protect the innocent) was extremely rude to me for as far as I could tell for absolutely no reason. I could get into all of the nitty gritty details, but for the sake of avoiding getting bogged down in all of the negative vibes, I won’t get into the full story. All I need to say is that this man was being completely out of line and disrespectful, and no customer or woman should ever be treated the way he treated me.

What in the world? Why was this guy being so rude to me? And yes, I do understand that we all have different personalities and some people come with a little extra salt. And hey, I get it- we all have bad days! But being disrespectful to customers is never cool, and trust me, this is coming from a girl who has been put on “calm down the angry customer on the phone duty” countless times. At the end of this exchange came a moment where this man looked me in the eye and said “You probably don’t like me very much- do you?”

sole society clutch

Shops at Buckhead

Oh no… I felt in that moment the urge to say “Oh goodness no, of course I like you!!” But instantly I knew I couldn’t. This was the perfect opportunity to kindly let this man know that I was not a happy customer. I turned and said “I don’t appreciate being treated so unkindly when I am a paying customer. I won’t be shopping here again” I turned on my heel and strut straight out the door. I was instantly brought to one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies, Legally Blonde.

“And you didn’t just get it in. I saw it in June Vogue a year ago. So if you’re trying to sell it to me for full price, you picked the wrong girl”

Assertive Women

And I wont lie to you; the dude’s response to my statement wasn’t great. He huffed and puffed and let a “wow! Princess has an attitude!” Point is, people aren’t always going to react positively to you asserting yourself, but do it anyways! You are laying down boundaries and teaching people how you deserve to be treated. Do I think that guy will take my advice and be nice to future female customers? Probably not, but hey that’s okay, at least I spoke my truth!

Try it out for yourself. Next time you feel that twinge of guilt because somebody is getting away with treating you poorly, say something!


Photography by: Paige Molina Photography

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